Category Archives: H. G. Wells

Angels on Horseback Can’t Save Tom Blunt From Himself

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“Zigzagging through the oyster stalls and squid sellers hawking their merchandise at three for a penny, Tom Blunt reached the railings at the river entrance where a crowd of other miserable wretches were flexing their muscles and trying to look enthusiastic in the hopes some kindly skipper would pick them to unload his boat from overseas.”  from The Map of Time by Felix J. Palma

Tom could have afforded those oysters too.  Apparently, back in the day, oysters were food for the poor…

Angels on Horseback

12 oysters shucked out of their shells

6 extra thick slices of bacon cut in half

12 slices of crusty bread (I used French bread, which is not very British at all)

Enough butter to slather the bread slices without causing an immediate heart attack

Wrap  each oyster with a slice of bacon and secure with a toothpick or on a skewer.  Broil until the bacon is crispy (this will depend on the thickness, I think mine were in there for about 10 minutes).  While the angels are cooking, you can toast the horses in the oven until they get a little golden.  Once your oysters are done, pop one on top of each bread slice and serve immediately.  

They are delicious.  It’s got bacon and butter in it.  What more could you ask for?

(Substituting scallops changes this to Archangels on Horseback.)

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A Joint of Lamb and a Joint Conspiracy

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“Less than an hour later, Charles and Andrew were able to discover for themselves that Wells had married an excellent cook.  Squeezed around the table in the narrow kitchen, tucking in to one of the most delicious roasts they had ever eaten was a most agreeable way of passing the time until the early hours… After he had finished his story, Charles asked the author why he had not gone on one of the expeditions himself [to the year 2000] if he was so interested in the outcome of that war of the future… But Wells simply stared at the joint of lamb with a mournful smile.”  From The Map of Time by Felix J. Palma

Of course, Wells doesn’t go because he knows that the war of the year 2000 is all just a scam.  Makes you wonder, if he has such strong moral fibers, how our heroic author could ever commit himself to the appalling melodramatic farce of sending Charles “back in time” on a fake time machine to kill Jack the Ripper before he could kill Marie and cover up the fact that nothing changes in the “present” with a glib lie about alternate universes. Where is your integrity, man?

Roast Leg of Lamb, Marinated in Red Wine (nothing is measured because I made this one up myself)

1 partial bone-in leg of Lamb

1 bottle of wine

Garlic

Onion

Rosemary

Salt and Pepper

Olive Oil

Toss a bit of everything into a brining bag with the leg of lamb (you can add water to ensure that the lamb is completely submerged) and leave it in your refrigerator for a few days.  If you wake up the day before you’re supposed to cook and discover that you have no gas in your stove, evaluate your next steps carefully.  I happened to discover my dilemma on the Friday before Christmas, and National Grid was not able to solve it for me until late on the Tuesday after Christmas, so I stored my lamb in the freezer for a bit.  Under correctly functioning oven circumstances, a day or two should suffice.  

When you are (finally) ready to roast your lamb, you can make a rub out of pretty much the same ingredients I’ve listed here (minus the wine).  Then roast your lamb at 450 for the first 2o minutes and reduce to 325 until an instant read thermometer registers it to your desired level of doneness.  I prefer my lamb rare, so I pulled mine out at 127 degrees.  Loosely tent the meat with foil and allow it to rest for 20 minutes or so.  It’s tired. 

Meanwhile, you can make a delicious pan gravy with the drippings from the bottom of the pan.  I learned a trick over Thanksgiving whereby you heat a roux of butter and flour and then add your pan drippings to cook it all together on the stove top.  

I also served some popovers (otherwise known as Yorkshire Pudding), some white truffle risotto, and steamed green beans.  The resulting Christmas dinner, though long delayed, was well worth the wait. I was so excited about the eating, I actually forgot to take a photo of the first plate.

I make no pretenses to this recipe being in any way British.  The idea of mint jelly by itself has never sounded too appealing to me and mint jelly on a good piece of lamb sounds even less so.  I’m sure that somewhere in the UK there is somebody who makes their lamb in red wine; I’d like to shake that person’s hand.

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